Understanding your Child

Parenting is a tough job, which no-one who is a parent will argue with! From before your baby is born, the suggestions, advice and opinions start coming thick and fast. Early on in my parenting life, I realised quite quickly that I was going to have to learn to filter out some of the messages around how to raise my kids, and what I should or shouldn't do. Fortunately, I had some great friends and family by my side, and my partner who was very keen to just 'trust his gut', which is a skill all of its own!

One of the best pieces of advice I read, from Author Pinky McKay, was to become the expert on my own child; to try and understand him as his own individual with his own needs. This perspective really changed everything for me, and helped me to not try to fit his sleep or behaviour into a 'one size fits all' box, but instead to see that he had his own preferences when it came to going to sleep, how he spent his time and what he liked or didn't like.

As an OT, understanding that each unique child has their own sensory preferences, their own emotional world and their own likes and dislikes can be a game changer in working with children and families. For instance, if you have a child who has a strong aversion to loud, noisy enviornments, and feels genuine distress in these situations, then going to a kindergym or being in a shopping mall is going to be complete sensory overwhelm.

For my own children, I learnt that taking them to these types of environments almost always ended in someone feeling really upset, annoyed, overwhelmed or having a meltdown (this includes me as the parent!). But I also noticed that if we went to the beach, spent time by a creek or in some bushland, we didn't have that same level of angst or overwhelm. Being curious about my own children's needs and preferences meant that we often didn't spend lots of time in loud, busy environments, and our expectations on what our kids could handle really changed.

For many of the families I work with, just working on increasing the appreciation and understanding of how their child is wired and what their preferences are in terms of sensory experiences, can make an enormous difference and lead to much more understanding for the entire family.